Drunk English in Indian Restaurant (Video)

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“Everybody Belongs Here More Than Me”

A phone rings once. A soothing female recorded voice plays.  FRV: Thank you for calling the National Suicide Hotline. We are here to help. From out of nowhere, a male recorded voice.  MRV: For English, press “1” now. Para español, toca el dos.   A sigh into the receiver as we hear a touch tone dialing … Continue reading

“I’m Sorry, Books, But I Have to Sell You”

It’s crazy, but I feel the need to apologize to inanimate objects. It’s simply a matter of timing, The Letters of F. Scott Fitzgerald. I bought you before I had college loans to pay off. Maybe it would have been okay if I read you right on the spot; but I waited too long, and now I … Continue reading

“OMG What Should i Do With All of these Leftover Champagne??”

The first regret most people experience on New Year’s morning is having bought too much champagne. Here are some handy hints to make the best of a bubbly situation: Stage a Photo Shoot: Local newspapers and social websites are always scrambling on New Year’s Day to find pictures of the craziest parties from last night, and … Continue reading

Résumé 2011

As a principle, I don’t love end-of-year lists, but since it is my Second Amendment right as a blogger to have one (and since I’ve been studiously tracking my cultural intake all year) I might as well share it with everyone. This year, I re-visited: Miss Lonelyhearts by Nathanael West (novel) Asterios Polyp by David Mazzuchelli … Continue reading